AF Update

Well, despite the fact that my chart may claim otherwise, my AF lasted a whole 12 days. I was starting to fear that it was a repeat of Jan 08, but alas (THANKFULLY!), it was not to be.

I am now wondering if my next AF will come on time (Which is getting pretty close...), but since my last AF was so long, I don't know if I should count the days from the START of my last AF, or count from 3-4 days before it ended (which was my usual AF length before all this shit started).

Anyone have any idea of when I should expect AF? Today I'm on CD26, but since AF was 12 days long, am I really on CD18?

Hmmmmm

WARNING!

If you're not into graphic posts about menstrual flow, STOP READING NOW!!!

Don't say I didn't warn you...

Anyhow, my AF has been all over the place for the past 2 years. First it started going wonky on Nov '07, then I bled for over 25 days in Jan '08 until I went to the doc and got meds, then I was on HRT for 6 months til Jul '08, then I did an insem and it went so wonky that I actually thought I might be pregnant until I finally went to a doc again and he said I had cysts in Dec '08. He gave me a shot and my AF was pretty much normal for the first half of '09 and then it started going crazy again. VERY light, short periods, with a VERY long cycle in between... I thought it was never going to end...

My last AF, in January '10, was again very short, very light, but clearly AF (although I tend to try to convince myself otherwise once it's over). I am torn between hoping for, what to me, is a normal AF, and dreading having a heavy AF and not having it stop like in Jan '08. So yeah, I had a "normal", yet light, AF in Jan, and now, exactly 30 days later (what used to be my regular cycle length before), I have AF again. Apparently, it's nice and heavy... And I may be claiming early victory, but it's looking like it's going to be a normal one. I also have a good feeling (knock on wood) that they're FINALLY getting back to normal. I had a peek at that when I was in Tucson last year, but I'd lost hope that it would actually happen because it went wonky again. I am now thinking it was due to the renewed stress of moving to a new city and starting over after the trip to Tucson, because I have been relaxed as of late (with the exceptions of the stress involved in being a 3rd and 4th grade teacher). I have been losing weight and have also been excercising regularly thanks to my new job (I walk at least half an hour, sometimes 45 mins every day from M-F).

Here's hoping it's not just a fluke, and that my cycles are finally back to normal...

Disclosure

One of the women in the blogs that I follow just decided to "come out" (i.e. start full identity disclosure on her blog)... This got me thinking about why I don't do the same... And I guess it's a good time to explain myself, in case anyone is wondering...

Initially, it was because my family didn't know I was going to start TTC. I didn't want them to know, at all, until I was well into pregnancy, lest their opinions (which I was sure wouldn't be positive) affect my emotional state during my early months (which I've heard is very important health-wise for fetuses).

Later, when I realized I wasn't going to have an easy time getting pregnant, and I decided to start telling family, I decided since my identity was already anonymous I may as well use it ocassionally to vent about my work. I figured since I already had the blog, may as well use it, and it was important to me to remain anonymous since I didn't want to get "dooced".

All of my family and friends already knew about me being gay, and me trying to get pregnant, so now it was about my work not finding out I was being "pissy".

Full disclosure? I used to work for a company called TeleTech, a "call center", so to speak, and they're generally very good, I just had really big asses as bosses, yet they shall remain unnamed to protect the poor souls that still work there!

Now, now it's a pain... I moved in order to be closer to family and to see if I could find a job outside the corporate environment, since it had become a stress factor and very toxic for my health. I moved to a very small town closer to my hometown, and got a job as an English Teacher at a private Jesuit school.

So far as I know, they don't know I'm gay, a fact that I'm sure they'd find very disturbing and which may lead me not to get a contract renewal. Here in Mexico it's still something you don't talk about, something said in hushed, whispered conversations, usually in a critical and judgemental manner. More so in an environment where, although the school staff might not mind it, there are some VERY conservative parents who might not agree with it, and who might cause me to lose my job. Of course, the school couldn't directly attribute it to that, but if my classroom were to lose half its student body, they might claim I'm an unfit or incompetent teacher and that it was the academical level which caused me to lose that many students. There are always ways around the reasons they use to fire you.

So anyway, I just wanted to explain why I choose to remain anonymous in such a public (yet private) media. However, if anyone wishes to know who I really am, I'd be more than glad to share more with anybody on a case-by-case basis! :)