Here's my ticker!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I am getting QUITE desperate...

Ok, so lately my biological clock has been ticking like MAD. And I mean MAD folks. I have been having dreams of being pregnant, of having a child, and even of doing the unspeakable: having s.ex with a guy in order to become pregnant (not that I ever would... eewww) No offense to all the hetero girls out there, but it's just NOT for me!

But really, I have become very emotional about it, feeling as if I -should- have a child by now and becoming more and more desperate after each damn dream...

I feel as if my chance of becoming a mother is slipping between my fingers, as if with each cycle that goes by, my chance of becoming a mother decreases (I know that's reality, but in my head it's becoming a life-or-death situation, when in reality it's not and I probably have a good 7 years before I actually have to start worrying)

I feel like Marissa T.omei in My Cousin V.innie, when she says "My biological clock is TICKING-LIKE-THIS!" (stomping foot to the rhythm of the last 3 words)

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Am I the only nutcase?

I wish I had the answers...

6 comments:

cconz said...

OH NO, stop it! motherhood shmotherhood, i'm 50 and NEVER had a single moment of motherly instinct. I've never regretted it.If down the the road, you really want a kid, ADOPT some poor kid.cathie

girlranting said...

Problem is, I have wanted to be a mother ever since I can remember... And as for adopting, I live in Mexico, where it's pretty much impossible for a single mother to adopt, let alone a lesbian with a partner. *sigh*

jessie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jessie said...

I totally understand. What are sperm banks like where you are?

girlranting said...

In the city where I'm at, pretty much non-existent from my research... In all of Mexico I think I've come up with a grand total of 2!!!

Now if that isn't disheartening... But when I finally am ready (financially, emotionally I've been ready for like, years) I'll probably go with a KD. I have a couple lined up, hopefully they won't back out at the last minute...

If they do back out and have to go through a sperm bank sort of deal, then the city they're actually at is like a 3 hr car ride, so I don't think it'll be much of a fuss... Or there are at least 2 clinics here affilated with them, so I guess I'm good...

tiff said...

Hey girl. Thanks for stopping by, and for the encouragement. That was good to hear on a day where I was feeling pretty low. I feel you on this post. I am sending you babydust and wishing you tons of good luck. I hope a great KD comes through for you. I think that's your best option. Fingers crossed your dream becomes a reality SOON :)